Chapter Text
Elan looked around her in wonder, it was like she'd stepped into a Sage's workshop, there were devices of great complexity, and the wards were the strongest she'd ever felt, yet they paled in comparison to the power inherent in the circles the 'children' had carved for their workings.
"Thankfully the blood crystallizes so we don't have to keep redoing them," Willow explained, as she walked the young dragon through the steps on how they made the wardrobes, "but while we can reach the same world, the exact spot is pretty much random." She gestured to the whiteboard.
"I can see where that would be a problem," Elan agreed. "How do you factor in the time component? I'm not seeing anything dealing with that factor, nor any anchors."
"Time," Jesse said as he and Xander stared at each other, dumbfounded.
"We completely ignored that," Willow admitted with a groan.
"Anchor?" Amy asked.
"It's much easier to aim a portal if you have a target," Elan explained, wondering how they'd managed to create such wonders with no knowledge of the basics, it was like they were trying to invent the entire branch of magic from a few traveler's tales.
"How do you make an anchor?" Willow asked excitedly.
"How does time factor into anything?" Sharon asked Amy while Willow discussed magic with Elan.
"The planet is always turning, so you open the door it will set it up wherever the planet was at that point," Amy suggested. "People plan out rituals with specific days and times so they match up a lot, but usually it's because of the tides of magic, like there being more magic available on a full moon or during certain holidays."
"Does it set the spot when the spell ends or when the door is first opened?" Sharon asked.
Amy shrugged. "No idea, but probably when the spell finishes."
"So we'd have to set everything up for the exact same time of day or year?" Sharon asked.
"Day is probably good enough," Amy decided, "I don't think any of us are patient enough to wait all year."
"And maybe we have to open a portal on Christmas to reach certain places like Narnia," Jesse suggested.
"That… is a good point," Xander said, having abandoned what Elan and Willow were discussing as Willow had started to explain Bell's Theorem to the young dragon, which had required a discussion of molecules and the nature of matter.
"It's getting a bit crowded in here," Amy noted as they moved aside to let The Boys through so they could get more bags of cement, wanting to finish their work before it got too late.
"We need a bigger workshop so we don't crowd out Jerry," Xander agreed.
"Is the lodge going to be big enough?" Sharon asked.
"It's kinda small," Xander said, "but we can have a bigger place built somewhere else, if we can figure out how to aim the portals right so we have more than one way in and out."
"Yeah, it'd suck to get stuck because someone closed the wardrobe or accidentally broke it," Jesse agreed.
Catherine and Jerry came in from the front.
"New friend?" Catherine asked, seeing Elan and Willow working on something on the white board.
"We met Elan on top of the volcano," Amy said, "she works with portals too!"
Jerry sniffed the air, his eyes widening. "She's…"
"A dragon," Xander said, "but a silver one, so she's cool."
"Silver dragons are the best dragons according to Xander," Jesse said with a grin.
"And if you'd read up on them you'd know that," Xander fired back. "Silver dragons are the ones most like humans in how they think. They often marry humans and have kids with them too. Can't get much closer than that."
"I've never heard of a dragon marrying a human, much less mating with one," Cathy said, "but then I've never seen one that looks so human before either."
"She just took that form to visit," Xander said, "she'd never fit through the portal otherwise."
"A shapeshifting dragon?" Jerry asked in disbelief.
"Dragons, true dragons," Xander said realizing they might not be as well educated on the subject as he was, "are not just large fire breathing lizards. True dragons are magic made flesh, more intelligent than humans and more powerful then… really anything you're likely to run into. Demigod is a good comparison."
"Yes!" Willow exclaimed, jumping up and down as she rapidly scribbled notes on the board.
"Discovered something?" Xander asked Willow.
"If everything works out the way Elan's described, and I don't see why they wouldn't, we can definitely connect cabinets together and put portals right where we want, as long as we go there in person first!" Willow said excitedly.
"So we could each have a wardrobe in our own room that leads to a room where we have all the wardrobes," Jesse said thoughtfully.
"Like a hub," Willow agreed, "and it means we don't have to worry about getting stuck somewhere as long as we set out spare anchors in advance."
"Shouldn't take more than a season or two to learn the spells," Elan offered.
"I'm pretty sure I can adapt them to fit with what we're already doing," Willow said, "but yeah, that's going to take a while."
"Not like we're in a rush," Jesse said.
"Yeah, we need to give The Boys time to build everything first," Xander agreed.
"I'm going to order pizza," Jesse said. "Anyone want anything?"
"Two liter of co*ke," Xander said.
"Breadsticks," Sharon added.
"Better double our usual order," Willow said, "Elan hasn't had pizza before."
"What is pizza?" Elan asked as Jesse went to call in their order.
"Bread, meat, cheese, and tomato sauce cooked together," Xander listed off. "It's one of our favorite foods."
Jerry followed Jesse, planning on adding his own order.
"Where do all the gates lead?" Elan asked as the kids found places to sit and wait for diner.
Xander stood back up, happy to show off what they'd built. "Well we have Cold Storage, which is a world of ice and snow." He braced himself and opened the door allowing a blast of wind and snow to swirl through for a moment before forcing it closed.
"It's too cold and windy for us to really explore," Willow offered, "we're probably going to build a warehouse there and just use it as a big walk in freezer."
"Then we have the Endless Desert," Xander said opening the next wardrobe and letting in a flood of light and heat. "It's got a couple of suns and is always day. It's all just sand as far as we can tell."
Elan stepped through to look around and quickly returned. "Why is there a pot full of blood?"
"I"m boiling it down for the iron in the blood," Jesse explained.
"It's going to take quite a lot of blood to gain enough iron to forge a blade with," Elan retorted.
"I know," Jesse agreed, "but I can get a good amount of blood from the butcher without too much trouble. It's a work in progress."
"That reminds me," Willow said, "I have to order more human blood from the mortician, we're out."
"From the mortician?" Elan asked, mentally weighing the ethics of using human blood in rituals and how they obtained it.
"Our culture either embalms or cremates our dead for the most part, so we can get human blood from people who have died of natural causes," Willow explained, "it's much less… icky that way."
"That is a moral way to acquire human blood," Elan decided.
"And here is the Larder," Xander said, gesturing to the open wardrobe where The Boys were mixing and pouring cement.
Elan poked her head through, returning a wave to Linda before stepping back out.
"You've already seen the one that leads to the island," Xander said, "We made a chest that leads to either a freshwater lake or ocean, but we gave that to a friend who needed a source of water for his own settlement in the Endless Desert."
"That's all the worlds we've made portals to," Willow said, "we're trying to find Narnia or something close to it, it's a magical land, so we've been experimenting."
"Remarkable work," Elan said impressed, "especially for ones so young."
"We try," Jesse said with a grin, causing some giggling as he puffed out his chest.
"If I see so far it is only because I stand on the shoulders of giants," Willow quoted. At Elan's look she explained, "Not literally, I mean we are building on things others have figured out so it's not all us."
"Starting out from scratch would be a lot harder," Sharon agreed.
"It'd probably take a lot of chickens," Xander agreed.
Everyone turned to stare at him.
Xander blinked. "What? The most primitive magic is Voodoo and it takes a lot of chickens from what I know."
"Oh," Amy said nodding. "Yeah, lots of chicken and whiskey."
"It's pretty effective by all accounts," Willow pointed out, "using simple easy to access ingredients they have managed some massively impressive stuff."
"So, they are the MacGuyver's of the magical world?" Xander asked.
"Pretty much," Willow agreed.
"Cool," Jesse said. "We should study it."
Cathy bit her lip to keep from giggling as she listened to the children debate the merits of voodoo, something they were only faintly aware of and mostly through TV and movies.
"We're already studying a bunch of different stuff," Sharon pointed out. "Don't have enough time to study everything."
"Too bad, would have been cool," Jesse replied.
"A lot of the basic ideas carry over anyway," Willow assured him. "I'll see if they have a 'For Dummies' guide for it."
"Dinner's here," Jerry announced as he entered with a half dozen pizza boxes and a bag hanging off his arm.
The kids quickly relieved him of everything and spread it all out on any flat surfaces.
"Here try this it's a meat lover's pizza," Jesse said offering a slice of pizza to Elan.
The polymorphed dragon accepted a slice and took a small bite her eyes widening as she took in the flavor and practically gulped down the rest of it. "This is wonderful!"
"It's pizza," Sharon agreed.
"Try some co*ke," Willow said pressing her a cup.
Elan took a sip and winced. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. It's making my teeth ache. Why do I crave more?" she took another sip.
"Because it's co*ke," Jesse said cheerfully as Willow poured him a cup.
"It's high in sugar and caffeine, like twice as much caffeine as coffee has," Willow explained.
"I do like coffee," Elan said.
"Try this," Xander said, offering her a slice of Hawaiian pizza.
"What is the yellow fruit?" she asked curiously as she took a bite and quickly devoured it as well.
"Pineapple," Xander said.
"Pineapple? But they are rare and expensive," Elan said, unable to stop herself from having another slice.
"Nah, fruit is pretty cheap," Jesse assured her.
"Pineapples are cheap here?" the silver dragon asked incredulously.
"Our science probably blows yours out of the water," Xander said, "it's all humanity has been concentrating on for the last century or two."
"And all the monsters have been hiding in the shadows so humanity has had a lot of free time," Willow added.
"Dude, we should show her TV," Jesse said.
"I could go and get a color TV from the pawn shop," Xander said.
"What's a TV?" Elan asked.
"TV is short for television," Willow explained. "It's… imagine a thousand stages with people putting on plays around the clock to educate and entertain, only instead of having to go there in person you get a box that lets you watch it from home."
"Sounds wondrous," Elan said.
"I'll drive!" Jesse volunteered.
"Still too early," Xander said, "and a TV isn't that heavy."
"Better bring a wagon," Willow said, "people will ask questions if they see you carrying a TV."
"Remember to grab some rabbit ears," Sharon said, "Jerry doesn't have cable."
"Rabbit ears? Cable?" Elan asked.
"I'll explain the electromagnetic spectrum, you guys get the TV," Willow said, turning the white board around.
"I'll go with you guys," Sharon said, "I wanna see what's at the pawn shop."
"I'll help Willow," Amy said.
The three grabbed the wagon they used for moving smaller pieces of wood from behind the shop and headed for the pawn shop.
"It's almost sunset," Jesse noted.
"Still too early to drive," Xander replied as he pulled the wagon.
"I know, but I really need to get more practice," Jesse said.
"Or get someone to teach you," Sharon said, grabbing his hand.
"Doesn't the DMV have driving classes?" Xander asked, not noticing as Jesse and Sharon climbed on the wagon behind him.
"They do, but you gotta be sixteen to take them," Jesse replied, "I've checked."
"So, we gotta find someone who gives private driving classes," Xander said with a shrug. "In the movies they have special classes that bodyguards take, they probably don't care about age just cash."
"I'll have to look into it," Jesse said, with a grin as he and Sharon tried not to laugh at Xander not realizing he was pulling them.
Xander must have heard something in Jesse's tone because he stopped and turned around. Seeing the two standing on the wagon he just shook his head and started walking as they burst out laughing. "It's not that funny."
"Funny enough for me," Jesse said.
It only took a couple more minutes for the three to reach the pawn shop and Jesse and Sharon hopped off the wagon.
"Hey Joe," Xander greeted the man behind the counter as he pulled the wagon into the shop. "I need a nineteen-inch color TV and some rabbit ears."
"And a VCR," Jesse added. "We might as well get one for it."
"We should raid the movie section too," Sharon added. "We don't know what kinda reception we'll get and Elan has never seen any human movies."
"Avoid any ones with dragons in them," Jesse said, "she'd probably find them racist."
"I doubt any of them have silver dragons, but you have a point," Xander agreed.
The kids took about ten minutes loading up the wagon with everything they needed and paying with gold coins, since the only person who had cash on them was Jesse and it was only a couple of bucks.
"I'm surprised he let us buy some of those movies," Sharon said as they headed back to the shop.
"He sold me guns, I don't think a couple of dirty movies compares," Xander replied.
"Looks like lunch is on me," a vampire said with a grin as he stepped out of the mouth of an alley, before he recognized the kids. His game face retracted and his hands trembled as he cleared his throat. "I of course mean I'll spring for blood at Willy's."
His two friends exited the alley, saw the kids, and quickly nodded.
"Great idea, I'll spring for the second round," the woman on the left said.
"We have got to learn how to do that face thing," Jesse said as the three monsters gave nervous waves and hurried down the street, "it'd save us all sorts of time."
"Physically changing or just illusions?" Xander asked curiously.
"Either or," Jesse replied with a shrug.
"Elan could probably teach us," Sharon said, "she fakes being human really well for a thirty-foot lizard."
Xander winced. "Don't use the 'L' word around her, it's insulting; she's descended from divinity."
"Seriously?" Jesse asked.
Xander nodded. "All of her kind are, they just look like huge lizards in their natural forms."
The three vamps shuddered as the 'kids' passed out of their hearing range.
"f*ck, that was close!" Larry said.
"It wouldn't have been if you hadn't said 'that' on stepping out into the street," Moe said with a growl.
Carla shook her head. "Just be glad they don't consider us enough of a threat to even notice."
"If it keeps me out of their crosshairs, I'll be a f*cking mouse! Squeak, squeak," Larry said fervently.
"Hope Willy is running a special," Moe said, "because I feel the need to get plastered!"
"I can't believe how harmless they seem," Carla said.
"Yeah, that's part of why they're so scary," Moe said, "cause you can't tell they are anything but kids."
"I'm following Darla's suggestion," Larry decided, "kids are off the menu."
"Same here," Moe agreed.
"What kinda creature looks like a thirty-foot lizard but is descended from a god and can blend in with the humans?" Carla asked.
"No idea," Moe said. "I'll ask around."
"Willy is pretty good at providing information," Larry said, "I'll slip him an extra twenty while I buy the first round."
"You were serious about that?" Carla asked.
"I am now," Larry said, "the last thing I want is for 'them' to find out I meant anything other than what I said."
"Amen to that," Moe muttered.
